It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
