So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
