I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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