yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
