I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
