At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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