Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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