You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
