what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
