just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
