I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
