I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
