I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
