its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
