Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
