Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
my liver is dry heaving
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
