how can u be prego again
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
