and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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