I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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