I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
