for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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