I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
