you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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