she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
