they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
