How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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