My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
