I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
