I'm lost and stupid without you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
