The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
