And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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