i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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