You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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