Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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