Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
