So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
