Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
