He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
