Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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