Sponge bath it is.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
