HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
