ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i now understand why vodka
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
