Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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