Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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