i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
please come you make the beer taste better
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
