I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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