how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
