He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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