All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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