At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
