some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi