We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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