The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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