lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
