I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
