Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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