She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
