A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
whose ass print is on the piano?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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