I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she told me i tasted like america
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
