So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize