just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you win again, gameday.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize
