she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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