You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
