Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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