I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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